Artemis Fowl and The Last Guardian review

So I read it.

ALL MY FEELS

:'( 

Just be warned, spoiler heavy!

So this is the book: 
 
 To be honest, I don't really like this design of the cover. I prefer the other one...

Anyways, let it be clear this is going to be a bit biased but...

I didn't really like it.

There, I said it. And I feel so ashamed to be saying this but it is true. 

I've been with this series for six years and enjoyed every book. Even Atlantis Complex, which many people seemed to hate (sorry but I loved Orion, he was so damn cute!).

Except this one. 

BAD PARTS: 
1. When Artemis didn't know that the closed fist meant to stop. Actually, he does, in the Lost Colony he even explains it to No. 1. (This is just something that will forever irk me)
2.  The humour feels a bit forced. The funniest book was probably Eternity Code, with the other books being relatively humorous, but I didn't laugh nearly as many times in this book as any of the others. And some of the humour... hmm...
3. The plot... was the same-old, same-old formula. Mulch rescuing them, Opal back for world domination with crazy skills, however Holly needed more screen time...
4. I know this will sound ridiculous but: Artemis Fowl was slightly out of character in some parts. No I am not insane, and yes I know you are thinking "EOIN COLFER WROTE IT OF COURSE HE'S IN CHARACTER YOU LITTLE B*TCH" but... some things didn't add up and I'm not just talking about the part where he sacrifices himself. 
5. Treatment was way too fast. I mean, ORION WHY... OTL The whole thing went really fast, actually.
6. The ending where the world becomes all hippy and stuff... I felt it unrealistic, too. Sorry.
7. Minerva has never been resolved ?! Where is she? I'm not her biggest fan but... what?
8. WHAT IS THIS Trouble Kelp x Lili Frond RUBBISH? I SHIPPED TROUBLExHOLLY ALL THE WAYYYY

GOOD PARTS:
1. Myles and Beckett! Omigod! YES! I loved their character development. And wow I didn't know that they were fraternal twins... 
2. Pretty good introduction, could have been longer.
3. Last two pages made all my feelings gush over and I had to listen to touching Taiwanese music to recover (no kidding).
4. Artemis didn't 'end up' with anyone and the ending was not TOO PERFECT.  I actually think it was better this way. 

Yes there seems to be more bad parts than worse parts but overall, I think, it's just Eoin Colfer seemed really weary writing it, like he couldn't wait for it to be over. If it had the same enthusiasm as from before, and was longer, I think all those dodgy parts would have been better resolved. 

I hope that in the future, Colfer might write short stories and put them together like the Artemis Fowl files. Also, a movie... hmm... bit ambiguous on this one. But definitely short stories.

(Oh, I really need to buy the Artemis Fowl Files. I read it but I want my own copy! There are none in bookstores here and I can't exactly order it. Should I ask the local bookstore to get it...?)

Overall I'd give this 7/10. If I didn't love this series so much I'd probably give it a 5 /shot

*sighs* Back to my normal life now... though I have to read Colfer's other books... especially W.A.R.P :3

That's all for today~

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